It’s Your Right to Say NO on a Date

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Dates are exciting. Whether it is your first date with someone you have recently met or a few months in with your ‘dream partner,’ dating is a fun and exciting time in many of our lives. Sometimes, however, dates can turn out differently than you originally expected. If your date or partner assumes you are ready to do something that you are not or makes unwanted sexual advances on you, know this: it is your right to say NO on a date.


Never feel pressured to do something you are not ready for. If your date assumes you are ready and you are not, speak up. Communicate so you are able to set the record straight. There is no harm in having open communication with your partner and being honest. If you feel pressured, let him or her know you feel uncomfortable. If you are not ready, tell him or her when you are.


Dates gone wrong can be troublesome for many reasons. Loss of trust, emotional damage, unwanted sexual advances, are just the start. No matter what the outcome, it is important to know it is NOT your fault. Do not allow your date to blame you. Just because you are not ready does not mean he or she can blame you when you deny sexual advances. Just because you were drinking alcohol or wearing a revealing outfit, does not mean you are to blame. If you say no, it means no. If you tell the person you are not ready, it is not your fault. If the person makes unwanted sexual advances, it is his or her fault for not respecting you.


As much as you may be attracted to this person, he or she may not be the right person for you. Be the best judge of character you can be. How did he or she react when you said no? Did he or she continue to make sexual advances? Did he or she respectfully back away? Did you have an open and honest conversation? These are questions to ask yourself after a ‘date gone wrong.’


If you felt uncomfortable, it is also your right to deny another date. You can say no on a date, even if it could potentially cause hard feelings. Even if you have gone on many dates with this person before. Even if you were set up by a mutual friend that expects you both to marry. Even if this person repeatedly apologizes. Any inkling of uncomfortableness or hesitation is your sign to get out of this relationship.


If you are uncomfortable while you are still on the date, there are a few ways to excuse yourself.


1. Run away. It might seem crazy, but if this person is sexually harassing you, RUN.


2. Go to the bathroom and tell your best friend to call you with an excuse.


3. Blatantly tell them to get off you and leave.


However, not every situation goes smoothly and your wishes may not be respected no matter what you do. If your date continues to pressure you and makes unwanted sexual advances, even if you repeatedly say no, it could be trouble. Do not stay in a situation where you feel threatened. There are no excuses. No means no. When you need a Tallahassee attorney on your side, we are here for you. Do not hesitate to contact us.